It’s sad when you go to make a gin & tonic and forget to add the gin. Perhaps a drink is not what you really need right now?
The Office Mate told me, “Oh, your hair looks good today!” Now I’m wondering how bad it looked all the other days.
The other dogs in this house have it made because Rainbow (aka the Maxi Pin) always looks guilty, even if he has been lying on his ass on my bed for an hour, sleeping.
I am deathly afraid of bees. Once, at a gas station, several bees were buzzing around me as I attempted to fill my tank. (Why are bees always at gas stations??) I ran around screaming and flailing my arms in the air. The clerk was nice enough to turn on the intercom so I could hear how hard everyone inside the store was laughing.
I don’t care how old they are, the Honey Badger and this always make me laugh:
I seem to attract stalkers for some reason. There was the BF that had me followed (by someone ELSE) in college, a blog-stalker I had years ago, a guy I had ONE date with who sat outside my apartment calling me over and over when I wouldn’t answer the door, girls that want me to be friends with only them, and old men in grocery stores.
My girl Min Pin lifts her leg to pee. My boy Min Pin squats. Maybe giving him a pink Thunder Shirt isn’t really helping this issue?
I am one of those annoying people who posts photos of their meals on Facebook. Feel free to hate me now.
The Office Mate and I went shopping at lunch today. I bought some shoes and totally walked around for 30 minutes complaining about having buyer’s remorse. She told me I could easily return them NOW because we were still in the store. Me: “Fuck that shit, it will pass.”
Clowns scare the ever-loving SHIT out of me. I hate clowns. Last year, I went on a trip overseas and too late I learned I had booked three nights in a Clown Hotel. WTF?
Stationing yourself beside the crudite platter at a party kinda negates the healthiness of eating all those veggies when you drown them in ranch dressing.
Not only do I have a Pizza Ordering Spreadsheet, I also have a budget spreadsheet, a dog medication spreadsheet and a shopping spreadsheet. And I’m not a Numbers Person. I just really ❤ Excel.
I miss my friend, Dan The Man. He used to leave random, strange voice mails for me when he was still alive. Like “I really, really like David Hasselhoff,” and “Don’t come outside, I’m waiting downstairs to kill you.” It’s hard to find friends like that.