Totally Random Tuesday (Several Hours Late)

  • Day Two of Austerity Campaign or No Booze No Bread For 30 Days.  It fucking sucks already.
  • Thank GOD the non-BF is on a similar food campaign.  I don’t want to be the only sober motherfucker around here.
  • I am taking a webinar photography class with the non-BF (started last night) through Friday night.  So far, so good.  Except for the chick moderator who really needs to shut the hell up asking the instructor if his wood is hard or soft.  Don’t ask, you don’t want to know.
  • However, I haven’t been able to fall asleep since it ended at 11:00 p.m.
  • Hypoglycemic people really shouldn’t wait until the last minute to eat because then they will grab the lowest hanging fruit.  And by the lowest hanging fruit, I mean a packaged sandwich from a convenience store.  Two hours of throwing up and other gastrointestinal “issues” later (at least I made it to the bathroom, or this would have become another Shitting My Pants Post), I called my mommy and asked her to make me a grilled cheese sandwich.
    • I don’t care how fucking old I am, when I get sick, I turn 8 all over again.
    • And shut the fuck up, yes I know I ate bread today.  I fail.
  • I was watching videos of Bob Ross make some Happy Paintings the other day (I swear, his voice is like an opiate for me), and what do I discover while wandering around the blogs today?  The happy little clouds were my favorite!  (And thank you!)
  • Other internet education while I couldn’t sleep:  I see that Gore Vidal died and Snoop Dogg has changed his name to Snoop Lion. He will be singing songs that children and grandparents can listen to.  La la la, I have nothing else to say about that.  Except that I want what he’s been smoking. Well, NO, not really.
  • I thought it would be fun to create a fake eharmony profile to see who I got matched up with, but then thought better of it since they’d probably set me up with a serial killer and a Jehovah’s Witness.
    • Plus that damned questionnaire is too fucking long

    Plus I kept contradicting myself

  • For some reason, I found this funny. Maybe Elle Woods could step in and help them out?  (This is news, People?)
  • I guess we know which team Reese is on.
  • – love it or leave it?

6 responses

  1. I hope things settle down for you soon girl. Sorry I haven’t been around. Between editing and failing eyes I’m having some trouble myself. Feel better and keep up the good work.

  2. Whoa whoa whoa!! You’re doing no booze AND no bread? At the same time? For a month?? NonBF must be a brave dude…last time I tried to do the no bread thing (for weight loss, not general healthyness…I SUCK at general healthyness) it took 3 days for husband to buy me a whole loaf of french bread and tell me “never do this again.” Turns out no-carb for me = SUPER BITCH FROM HELL 😀

    I hope you feel better soon. Feel free to ignore this as stupid-unasked-for-shit: papaya works really well to soothe an upset belly. Something about enzymes…at least that’s what my farmer-hippie grandma says. 🙂

  3. Will you both hate me if I tell you I totally fucking CAVED tonight and had a glass of wine??? Besides, the non-BF isn’t starting until Friday (that sadist!) so I technically have tonight and tomorrow to eat bread, drink wine and be in a decent mood. After that, I make absolutely NO promises. Melynda, hope you are okay! And Jess, I’m about to be Super Bitch From Hell Part II on Friday. This weekend should be sooooo interesting. If I don’t post by Monday, call the cops. One of us has killed the other. My friend Lisa gets all my jewelry, by the way 🙂

    1. I like starting my diets “tomorrow.” And wine isn’t cheating…it’s grape juice. It’s healthy for you, right? I vote for being in a decent mood for as long as possible, and eating the bread before murdering anyone.

      Not that bread and/or a stiff drink is enough to save some people from my wrath, but it often helps idiots survive their encounter, blissfully unaware of how close they came to annhilation… So in a pinch breaking the diet is preferable to, say, jail time. 😀

  4. Who starts a fucking diet on a FRIDAY? Same kind of person who quits smoking on vacation, I guess. We’re both certifiable.

    And papaya? Interesting. Will have to give it a try. I’ve heard the same about aloe vera juice but that shit is just nasty.

  5. Papaya enzymes come in a chewable tablet that tastes like tropical life savers from the 70s! Girl, you need to carry snacks with you for when your blood sugar gets low.

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