There really, really needs to be an All American Girlfriends Day. I think we could get some sponsors. If that shit isn’t totally out there already.
First of all, who do I call first when shit goes down? My girlfriends. Well, my mom, and then my girlfriends. Because shouldn’t one’s mother be your bestest girlfriend? P.S. She rocks, even though she never understood my need for 20 t-shirts in different colors. (I still swear I was switched at birth!)
Second of all, I don’t care what kind of awesomeness your man is (and mine is the Best Kind of Awesomeness!), no one understands us like one of your bitches. Those girls totally KNOW that shit!
Third, your girlfriend will NOT tell you that you need to lose some weight. She will say, “Hey, maybe we need to go to the gym more often?” She also will not post photos of pigs on your refrigerator door and MOO at you when you decided lunch needs to be a Ding Dong and some chocolate milk.
4th, your girlfriend will totaly tell you that Wine Therapy is very okay, and that those calories do not count because, in the end, worrying about whatever we were worrying about completely cancels out the shit we were consuming while worrying about it.
FIFTH, we know all of our girls down to heart. If it came down to it, I’d leap in front of a DART bus for my list. You’ve known me through good and bad (most likely bad!). You hold my secrets and I hold yours. August 14th should be non-girlfriend’s girlfriends day. Sisters still need to keep doing it for ourselves!