“‘Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy”

  • I usually memorize lyrics, but until the internets, I totally, always got them wrong.
  • My dogs are so sweet…when they’re asleep.
  • Broke down and gave Wormy Kitty another catnip toy because it’s fun to watch that shit.
  • Fucking condenser froze up TWICE already this evening…I’m sweating it out in a house with 74 degree temperature and I’m watching it continue to rise.
  • Yeah, I’m one of those annoying hot-natured bitches that causes everyone else in the office to wear sweaters in the summer.
  • Glad I have home warranty, except it’s the Friday night of a three-day weekend so I may just have to deal until Tuesday.
  • Can you lose weight by sweating?
  • Bought some hair serum today at an outlet mall.  Went home and found out I could get it much cheaper online.  Guess who will be staking out that kiosk tomorrow at 10:00 a.m.?  “All sales final – NO REFUNDS” – whatthehellever!
  • If I don’t get my money back, I’m going to stand there and tell potential customers they can buy the product cheaper at Amazon and show it to them on my phone.  If I can’t have my money back, I’ll make those scamming bastards lose at least three times what they cost me.
  • Okay, yeah, so I was a sucker, but in my defense, my blood sugar was low and I didn’t have my Don’t You DARE Fuck With Me face on yet.  SO unprepared!
  • Hope there isn’t any incident involving security, though.  Personally not a fan of being restrained.
  • Took the Office Mate to lunch today at some place I haven’t been to in a while, but the menu looked good.  Fried pickles are always a good thing…until you bite into one and realize it’s a SWEET pickle.  Who the fuck does that shit??
  • Trio of fries were good – one was a purple Peruvian potato, which sounded (and looked) cool, and they covered it in cayenne pepper.  I’m a Spicy Girl, can’t get it hot enough for me, but those fries just really didn’t do it.  I liked the homemade mayo, though.
  • HUGE pet peeve of mine:  Someone sends an email to a lot of people who don’t know each other and doesn’t BCC the email list.  Bitch, if I wanted 149 strangers to have my email address, I’d take out an ad on Craig’s List.
  • I’ve never been one of those Bosses Who Yell.  Never understood that approach to management.  I’m more like one of those Bosses Who Laugh.  And Talk To Themselves.
  • In the name of the baby Jesus and all that is holy, what the HELL do my dogs do all day long that causes them to pass out on my sofas every night?
  • SO sorry, but this is too funny!
  • Every time I hear Wormy Kitty jumping around and I go to look after her, she freezes, shoots me the Evil Eye and hides behind her litter box.  I swear she is plotting to smother me with her kneading little paws when she finally gets released from her Ringworm Quarantine Hell Cell.
  • On the phone with the non-BF just now.  Me:  This kitten is so cute.  I am poking her belly.  Gotta go hose off with some Lysol, though.  Him:  Back to your dating days, I see.
  • Yeah, no motherfucking Christmas gift for you this year, asshat.
  • P.S. I totally love him.  I just play his Bitchy Non-Girlfriend on TV.
  • Just took a peek at my calendar tomorrow.  Shit, can’t make the Outlet Mall Stalking.  Gonna have to chalk that up to “I Probably Shouldn’t Be Let Outside Without A Chaperone.”
  • Oh HELL, the kitten is awake and playing with catnip again.  I give up and I am going to bed!

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