Insomnia, I LOVE You! You Let Me Get SO More Much Done, Motherfucker.

So yeah, the catnip shit, while I thought it would be hilarious to watch, has backfired.  Damned Wormy Kitty is WIDE AWAKE at 3 a.m. and I don’t know what she is doing in there, but it sounds like she may be re-tiling my bathroom.

P.S. I’m quite certain I misspelled that word.  Give me a break, it’s 3 a.m.!

Nope, Internet check – I was right.  Anyway, about thirty minutes ago, I woke up to the sounds of someone moving furniture.  My house alarm didn’t go off, so I was pretty sure I was okay.  Which is a GOOD thing, since my wasp & hornet spray was in my bedroom.  (No one wants me to have a gun, so I have to make do with what I can).  It was the Wormy Kitty.

My mom, with all good intentions (I hope), gave the Wormy Kitty a jingle ball.  That bitch is in there right now, batting it around, high as shit on the catnip, making all kinds of noise.  I’m used to dogs that like to sleep through most of the night (well, I am now that Mr. Swirly (RIP) has passed).  This is not how I wanted to spend my Friday night.

[I don’t really know how I wanted to spend my Friday night/Saturday morning.  Except for maybe SLEEPING.]

After getting up, checking on the kitty (who mysteriously stops all that she is doing to just STARE at me – creepy!), I discovered that Rainbow had once again Spiteful Pissed on the kitty litter jug.  Several unmentionable words, about 20 sheets of paper towels and half a can of Lysol later, I was too wide awake to go back to sleep.

So now I am doomed to spend the rest of normal people’s sleeping hours awake, listening to a kitten bounce off the walls of her crate, folding laundry, giving myself another fucked-up manicure, watching “Titanic” for the 157th time and contemplating my really badly tan-towled legs.

One response

  1. Kittens do not fold laundry. If they did, I would have married one.

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