Category Archives: Don’t Hassel The Hoff

I Can’t Stop This Feeling…

I get this article (the link is slow loading so be patient) from the non-BF this morning, who later called to tell me how disappointed he was in me for not responding with something clever.  Having been up since three and at the office by 7:30, I really needed more Red Bulls in order to write him back with anything more than “Don’t Hassel the Hoff!” [I used to own a t-shirt with that on it – wonder whatever happened to it? I also had one that said “PSYCHO” but I think I lost it while camping at Enchanted Rock years ago when that bobcat stalked our camp.]

Okay…so if you won’t wait for the link to load, here you go:

Yeah baby

Back on the old non-girlfriend blog, I would write about the Hoff on a semi-regular basis.  That whole “jump in my car” video made me nauseous and giggly at the same time, and somehow, slightly turned on.  Maybe it was KITT, I don’t know.

So I went on You Tube to see if I could find a commercial for Cumberland Farms, and I found this remix.  And then I had to watch “Hooked on a Feeling.”   Of course, I also had to go look up the company since I would definitely shop at any store that has a giant cardboard cut-out of David Hasselhoff in it.  Unfortunately, they are in Florida and while I’d love to steal a cardboard cut-out of the Hoff, I’m not making the road trip to FL to do that.

I looked at some of Cumberland’s products and found this page:

I like monkeys, but this one looks like he might eat my face with some fava beans and a nice Chianti

That made me remember the frightening McDonald’s billboard I saw in Oak Cliff a while back, right near where a lot of drug activity goes on.  It looked like it was for teenagers on crack, lots of scary drawings of “things” like that little yellow guy on the left…

and several of the “things” were flying.  There were squiggles and random stupid shit on the billboard, and nothing at all about McDonald’s.  Sometime, I see those “things” in my nightmares, only to wake up and realize I am okay, mainly because I never go to McDonald’s and the “things” cannot get me in my bed.

Next stop, naturally, was eBay.  I wanted to see if any of the Hoff cut-out thieves were trying to sell them.  No such luck, but I did find this:

Three people actually purchased this

Since the non-BF was so “disappointed” in me, I think I will snap up that last one and add it to his Christmas gift list.  I told him around April or so that this year’s holiday theme was going to be “Only Things I Can Buy From TV Commercials That Air After 2 A.M.”  I’ve now added “Weird, Useless And Awkward Things I Can Only Buy On The Internets.”

[By the way, I got a dirty look when I told him that.  Isn’t it the thought that counts?]